Hi Odovacer,
As you've discovered, RoF has a distinct learning curve. That said, don't let that prevent you from enjoying Multiplayer if you have an interest in that.
First, New Wings hosts the *only* non-pvp server ("Basic Training") in the game, and in there you can feel free to focus on learning to fly your favorite / various aircraft as much as you like, with simple settings (that you can override at your discretion, if you wish, or when you're ready to). That particular server is intended to let you learn at your pace, in a non-competitive environment, and it provides several triggerable AI options to combat ... when you're ready for it.
Also, If you happen to pop in when any of our Admins are on (-NW-Jarvis, or myself frequently spend time in there), we'll be happy to help you work on any skills or plane you're working on. We also have a TS server to help that process along.
Second, New Wings also offers two PvP servers (Fast 'n Furious, and Wargrounds). They both feature the same maps, but FnF allows the simpler settings (icons, padlock etc.) from Basic Training, and Wargrounds is our full "real" server where you need to manage your own plane and its systems, without the simple settings, to do your own navigation, and ID your own targets. They're the next step(s) up from our Basic Training server.
Additionally, several other folks host other servers that can also provide a fun experience. Some of them are more oriented towards short dogfight scenarios, and some focus more on "realistic" mission oriented experiences. I'd say that most of the various online servers have something fun to offer, and which of those works best for you will depend on what you're looking for in this simulation / game. Each of them, have their own focus and approach to the game, and you may find some that suit what you're looking for.
In general, most of the online folks are fairly friendly, and if you approach them with a sincere interest, they'll be happy to help you out as much as they can...
So, to wrap up, it's great that you're flying, and learning the game, but don't feel you must reach a certain skill level before you can hop into, and enjoy the multiplayer experience.
Cheers,
4 